Humanstuck Musings
by Calumniator
Summary: Rated T for Language. A Humanstuck story that has no defined plot yet. *shrgs* Just rolling with it.
1. Be Karkat Vantas

You are Karkat Vantas and you are beyond 200% done with all of your friends' shit. You are also done with the shit of those who are not your friends. Like the asshole who parked himself just far enough out of the space so that you are not leaving this parking lot. You kindly request of the universe to stop all of this stupid shit everyone around you seems compelled to do.

But the universe does not care.

The universe never gave a singular fuck about what you wanted.

In fact, the universe went out of its' way to make your life unbearable.

That's probably why as soon as you realized you were stuck your old friend Terezi Pyrope called. Pyrope was a weird name. It made you envision an actual pie on a rope. But that would be fucking stupid and really messy, so you discard the thought and take a moment to realize that it took you so much time to think on pies on ropes that the phone stopped ringing. You decide not to call her back and tell her you didn't pick up because you were sitting there being stupid. You decide to text her.

You begin typing and realize your CAPS LOCK STILL IS BROKEN AND YOU'LL HAVE TO JUST TEXT HER LIKE THIS. Whatever. She said it was fitting whenever you brought it up, so you decide not to mention it today.

"WHAT DEMANDS MY IMMEDIATE FUCKING ATTENTION RIGHT THIS GOD DAMN SECOND? I'M STUCK BEHIND SOME INCOMPETANT JACK ASS'S CAR RIGHT NOW"

"NOTH1NG R34LLY. TH3 LUSUS IS OUT 4ND 1 W4NT3D SOM3 COMP4NY. W4NT TO COM3 OV3R :?"

Laughably Unusual Sometimes Unstable Supervisor, or Lusus, was just their way of saying parent/gaurdian. You, Terezi, and 10 other friends had taken to saying it in middle school and none of you ever really got out of the habit of saying it.

"WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU EVEN-" you stop typing to see the message you just received.

"4ND 1 KNOW SH3'S N3V3R H3R3 BUT 1 W4NT SOM3 COMP4NY."

You will agree, and she knows you'll agree. As much as you complain, you'd do anything for your friends.

"FINE. LET ME GET OUT OF THIS LOT AND I'LL BE RIGHT OVER."

"TH4NKS :] S33 YOU TH3N"

Now you look up and see the car hasn't moved, so you move it for them with the front of your car. They could thank you later.


	2. Be Nepeta

You are now Nepeta Leijon and you were definitely not just reading hot smut fan fiction. And the purr your phone made when you just received a text was most assuredly not what had made you panic and close the browser window on your computer. Absolutely not possible, right? But it was totally possible that you did just get a text because you did, in fact, receive a text.

"D - Do not, under any circumstances, answer a text from Karkat.

":33 *ac twitches her ears and begins to prance around her friend's leg. she says why would I do that?*"

"D - Stop this foolishness. This serves no purrpose."

":33 PURRPOSE :33!"

"D - It was a random happenstance, a mistake."

":33 no, it was on PURRPOSE!"

"D - I am an e%ceptional speller, almost as good as I am an archer, and 100sening that skill to spell "purpose" improperly is nonsense."

":33 lol you suck at archery!"

"D - I do not."

":33 do too!"

"D- No, I am e%ceptional."

":33 hold on, karkat just texted me." You hear your phone wildly meow like a cat in a tree due to all the text your bestie is sending you. You ignore them and open up a text from Karkat gladly.

"HEY NEPETA ARE YOU BUSY"

":33 *ac has been napping and quickly hops up and pounces on karkat's shoe. she attempts to indicate that she's got nothing more pressing right now, and purrs up at him*"

"KARKAT CAN'T BELIEVE THAT HE'S CALLING UPON THIS GIRL'S HELP AND IS TAKING PART IN THIS HUGE FUCKING WASTE OF TIME. HE SERIOUSLY CANNOT BELIEVE HE WOULD SINK LOW ENOUGH TO WASTE TIME DOING SUCH A MENIAL ACTIVITY."

"*ac asks what was it you needed help with?*"

"TEREZI SAID SHE WAS LONELY AND I'M HELPING HER REALIZE I AM NOT HER ONLY GOD DAMNED FRIEND."

":33 *ac purrs happily and comments on how sweet it is*"

"NOT REALLY I JUST WANT HER TO FUCKING SEE THE SHIT TON OF PEOPLE SHE COULD BOTHER WITH THIS SHIT INSTEAD OF ME."

":33 *ac is not fooled, but she promises to be there."

"GREAT, THANKS"

You are very excited to go and see some friends! You don't live near them, you live pretty far out in the woods, and sometimes your friends don't want to trouble you to try and get back to town. At least, that's what you tell yourself. Either way, you are very excited and go into your closet to find something purrfect for the occasion!


End file.
